Lonely Thoughts From An Evil Mind
by Destiny-Scouts
Summary: Ah, just something I was thinking about in class when I should have been working. AkitoXTohru, and I know it would never really happen. Enjoy! Calismo


**Yay! My first Furuba story. Oh, this would _so _never happen in the real anime. Heh. But I have a new-found love for AkitoXTohru. Yes, I am weird…Akito is just not meant for love, I know. But I'm going to make him made for love for this. Enjoy!**

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I never thought I would feel this way for you…I had earlier made the statement that you were ugly and none to bright. I now regret saying those words as I now begin to see you for what you truly are. You are an exceptional girl, pushing through all the suffering in your life as you continue to befriend members of my family. I only wish that I could get to know you better.

Silently, I watch you from the shadows of my life, noting your exquisite beauty and refined style of life. You are always…smiling. Well, I suppose that there are certain times when you become saddened and begin to cry. Momiji, for example, told me that when he told you of his past life with his mother that you began to cry and even hugged him, not caring that he was going to change. But I am not even inflicted with the curse—I can hug you if I wish. But I will never have the courage to do that.

When we were first properly introduced I was…not very polite with you. No, that is stated wrong. I put up the most polite front, but deep inside me all I wanted was to rip your heart out of your ribcage and squeeze the blood out of it. I was merely mad that Yuki had skipped out on me on New Years. Perhaps that is why I made the ugly comment.

And now as I sit here, staring out the window, I realize that all I wanted was to talk to you—to get to know you. Buried deep within all the hate that I held I simply wanted to get to know you better. Why is it that Momiji, Yuki, and even Kyo can have a friend like you and I cannot? Do I not deserve friends as well?

I love to say your name to myself when no one is listening. Tohru. Tohru Honda.

I wonder what possessed your mother to give you a name which is usually meant for boys…from what Shigure tells me, you love your mother with all your heart and soul, even though she is no longer living. I bet you talk to her in your times of need. I do that as well—I have my birds to talk to. Yes, the little birds that sit on my hand when I allow them.

I speak to my little birds for they cannot judge me as I tell them these things. They only sit and cock their heads to the side and stare at me as if they can truly understand. Would you listen to me if I asked you? I bet you would. Heh. Listen to me, rambling on about you as if you are a precious jewel in a pile of dirt. No, I believe that you are more than that. So much more, my Tohru.

Do you know what? I believe…that I will trust you with more than my family's secrets. I believe that I will trust you with _my _secrets as well. I will bring you over here before the next weekend, whether you like it or not, and speak with you. Oh, Yuki will hate me for it. But I like that, Tohru. I want Yuki to hate me. Despise me with all he is. For then, he will never be able to forget me. I don't want to be forgotten, Tohru.

Yes…I will talk to Shigure about this. I will ask, no _command_, him to drag you over here if need be. Perhaps if I begin speaking to someone, then I will not be so cold hearted as I am now. I may lose a bit of respect, but I may gain something even more. Perhaps…someone who loves me. Those words are strange to me. Do I even deserve love after I destroyed Hatori's? I was just so angered at that one moment—I even scared myself.

But yes…I believe that I could come to love you Tohru. I will take you away from Yuki and Kyo and Shigure and bring you here to live with me. Not right away, of course, but soon…soon. I will find peace. I will find happiness. I will find love.

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Ha! I am finished. Wow, that took me all of thirty minutes to write. Agh! My stupid brother won't leave me alone. T.T (Arial T's are the best for making crying faces:P) Read and Review readers!**


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